I’ve gotten used to being the best at what I do. Although it wasn’t always that way, numerous events in my life have taught me that I am top dog material. I aced debates, killed the opposition in negotiations and even landed a job nobody thought possible.
Fast forward several years and I’m still with the job nobody taught I would get. Some even marvel at me for being in the position I am. I’ve set benchmarks among my peers and raised the bar for all coming after me.
Being top dog for so long, I’ve begun to think that I’m still up there and that everything would come easy. After all I’ve always been quick on my feet and nailed it whenever I needed to.
Things aren’t quite the same today. I find myself in a situation where the top dog status is the general accepted standard to be where I am. Things don’t come easy anymore and competition is stiff. It’s a whole different ballgame and frankly, I’m feeling myself slip.
I’ve pondered upon this quandary I find myself in and the more I think of it, the more reasons I deduce to explain my loss of form. Maybe the competition is better, or maybe they just don’t get me. Maybe I’m just slacking abit more than the next and I need to pick up the pace. Or maybe I’m not ready for this - too much too soon? Or has the pressure to be on top gotten to me?
I’m sure all these reasons and some others are true in some quantum or another. I’m also certain that a noteworthy portion of how I now feel is down to just that – a feeling. It could well be that I’ve got it all mixed up in my head.
But not till just minutes ago (just before I begun writing this account) had I realized one of the key reasons why I find myself feeling this way.
Arrogance.
Over the last few months, I’ve found myself trying to make a stronger stance at where I work. I wanted to make my presence felt and I wanted to build a reputation of being the guy who plays hardball. The kinda person who knows how to get everything he needs and keeps everyone in check and on track. In the process of creating – or perhaps retrieving – this persona, it is more than likely that I have made some less-than-friends in the process.
Take my boss for instance. I got mad at him last week I gave him such a candid answer he wasn’t ready to hear it. Sure he’s trying to pin the blame on me for something that did work out as a result of his miscommunication but I took it one step too far and made my resentment for this vocal. Similarly my can’t-get-to-the-point, Ms perfect teammate has been getting some straight talk (and walk) from me. Even my emails are missing the friendly “hi” and lacks the care that I used to treat them with. As a result, I think they’re throwing curve balls my way – effectively missing me in the process and striking the target beyond me.
The game has changed. The environment calls for smarter (as opposed to stronger) approaches to dealing with people and problem. More thought needs to go into every action. More care into every conversation. Less arrogance; more sincerity. Time to be the me I’d want to work and play with. Not the one I’d want to bury.
Until then, top dog is just average Joe.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Up in a puff of smoke
It's more than easy to lose your cool. Someone just needs to push your right buttons and you could explode in a cloud of smoke. It's worse if it's someone you care about who's keying in your detonation sequence.
I watched helplessly as I witnessed this today. The issue was trivial at worst and wouldn't ordinarily warrant an outburst. It got me thinking about why we crack up. At the risk of sounding cavalier, I think one critical but often ignored factor is focus.
I think it's more than easy to blow up when we're focused on the aggressor and what he or she is saying and doing to you. However, if we directed our energy on the big picture and saw the larger scheme of things, the might-have-been blow up might just seem plain silly.
Imagine someone tells you that you're draining all the resources. You know for a fact that you're not the one doing it. What do you do? It's easy to get upset and possibly retliate or rebut the statement angrily. But hold on - is that the real reason the comment was made? It's conceivable that in that fiery moment, you were more concerned about what was said "against" you and you responded to the act and not the substance. Focus as we know it, was lost.
So I think it's difficult to stay focused in less-than-perfect situations. But then again, it's easy to get angry. But remember, a 5 year old can get mad. Shouldn't we be better than that?
I watched helplessly as I witnessed this today. The issue was trivial at worst and wouldn't ordinarily warrant an outburst. It got me thinking about why we crack up. At the risk of sounding cavalier, I think one critical but often ignored factor is focus.
I think it's more than easy to blow up when we're focused on the aggressor and what he or she is saying and doing to you. However, if we directed our energy on the big picture and saw the larger scheme of things, the might-have-been blow up might just seem plain silly.
Imagine someone tells you that you're draining all the resources. You know for a fact that you're not the one doing it. What do you do? It's easy to get upset and possibly retliate or rebut the statement angrily. But hold on - is that the real reason the comment was made? It's conceivable that in that fiery moment, you were more concerned about what was said "against" you and you responded to the act and not the substance. Focus as we know it, was lost.
So I think it's difficult to stay focused in less-than-perfect situations. But then again, it's easy to get angry. But remember, a 5 year old can get mad. Shouldn't we be better than that?
Thursday, September 4, 2008
An honest answer isn't the right answer
Sometimes an straight to your face response isn't the right thing to do. You could insult someone, destroy your career or even mess yourself up in the process.
A flashback to an earlier post on priorities quickly reveals that what was a candid, spur of the moment reaction, isn't an accurate reflection of reality. Honest but incorrect. A list of priorities were listed, but the order was in no order at all. It read:
1.Career
2.The significant other
3.Family
4.God
5.Health
6.Wealth
7.Friends
The last few weeks have thought me that priority number 1 - career - is nowhere near to being no 1. It can break at anytime, it can stab me in the back, or it can suck the life out of me. No, it's certainly out of order.
I cannot distinguish between the significant other and the family. I think they're tied at the same 2nd spot.
Health is important because without it, the other priorities will crumble. Wealth follows, because in the modern world you need to have resources to survive and live comfortably. Sure money doesn't buy happiness, but if you have it, it's a heck of a lot easier to be happy.
Somewhere in the Bible is says, "He who is first will be made last" and although career isn't a he, it tumbles down the pecking order. And bringing up the rear end, are friends. My friends.
It's extremely important to highlight that being at the bottom of this list doesn't suggest unimportance or insignificance. To say that solid friendships are not important would be utterly foolish. Everything I've listed has and will have a place in my life no matter where it is on the list. But when choices need to happen, priorities based on what's important kicks in.
This therefore leads to a revamped list.
1.God
2.Family
2.The significant other
4.Health
5.Wealth
6.Career
7.Friends
Things change. Embrace it.
A flashback to an earlier post on priorities quickly reveals that what was a candid, spur of the moment reaction, isn't an accurate reflection of reality. Honest but incorrect. A list of priorities were listed, but the order was in no order at all. It read:
1.Career
2.The significant other
3.Family
4.God
5.Health
6.Wealth
7.Friends
The last few weeks have thought me that priority number 1 - career - is nowhere near to being no 1. It can break at anytime, it can stab me in the back, or it can suck the life out of me. No, it's certainly out of order.
I cannot distinguish between the significant other and the family. I think they're tied at the same 2nd spot.
Health is important because without it, the other priorities will crumble. Wealth follows, because in the modern world you need to have resources to survive and live comfortably. Sure money doesn't buy happiness, but if you have it, it's a heck of a lot easier to be happy.
Somewhere in the Bible is says, "He who is first will be made last" and although career isn't a he, it tumbles down the pecking order. And bringing up the rear end, are friends. My friends.
It's extremely important to highlight that being at the bottom of this list doesn't suggest unimportance or insignificance. To say that solid friendships are not important would be utterly foolish. Everything I've listed has and will have a place in my life no matter where it is on the list. But when choices need to happen, priorities based on what's important kicks in.
This therefore leads to a revamped list.
1.God
2.Family
2.The significant other
4.Health
5.Wealth
6.Career
7.Friends
Things change. Embrace it.
Start a routine
Deep down inside, we all know what’s good for us. But more often than not our tendencies to react to the world around us affect our better judgment – often resulting in outcomes we wouldn’t ordinarily desire.
Much in the same way, we all know what to do. But often is the case that we shun this knowledge for random acts of disarray. Some acts are more obvious than others, but ultimately our unwillingness to stand up and demonstrate self-leadership often leads us to take a back seat and let someone else take the wheel.
I am no exception.
I often find myself doing things I didn’t really want to do. I often find myself taking actions that are really soft-actions; actions that put off the real action that needs to happen. It’s so easy to get distracted. I’d need to get a project plan done for instance, but instead the phone might right, or a new email pops up or I hear a nice song that I just want to “savor” the moment. Sometimes it’s worse, sometimes I simply sabotage myself.
A soft-action. And then another. And another.
Over time, allowing one’s self to be driven by external influences manifests itself into the very fiber of our programming. Eventually the distractions from the forces around us seep into our subconscious mind. It becomes so powerful that sometimes the forces aren’t external. They come from within.
It is probably important to rewrite the code that has long taken up residence but truth be told, I don’t know how.
Or do I?
Much in the same way, we all know what to do. But often is the case that we shun this knowledge for random acts of disarray. Some acts are more obvious than others, but ultimately our unwillingness to stand up and demonstrate self-leadership often leads us to take a back seat and let someone else take the wheel.
I am no exception.
I often find myself doing things I didn’t really want to do. I often find myself taking actions that are really soft-actions; actions that put off the real action that needs to happen. It’s so easy to get distracted. I’d need to get a project plan done for instance, but instead the phone might right, or a new email pops up or I hear a nice song that I just want to “savor” the moment. Sometimes it’s worse, sometimes I simply sabotage myself.
A soft-action. And then another. And another.
Over time, allowing one’s self to be driven by external influences manifests itself into the very fiber of our programming. Eventually the distractions from the forces around us seep into our subconscious mind. It becomes so powerful that sometimes the forces aren’t external. They come from within.
It is probably important to rewrite the code that has long taken up residence but truth be told, I don’t know how.
Or do I?
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Tribute to Randy Pausch
Randy Pausch passed on today at the age of 47. He had a wonderful message and so many got to experience because he made a choice to be positive at a time when his world was closing in on him.
I haven't see the full length lecture. But this 10 minute version on Oprah says alot to me. I hope it'll speak to you too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BODHsU3hDo4
I haven't see the full length lecture. But this 10 minute version on Oprah says alot to me. I hope it'll speak to you too.
Friday, July 25, 2008
When the light isn't bright, it's still there
I presume ants can't see. And like ants heading towards their next food source, we are all often guilty of going about our narrow pathways towards the little invisible goals we set for ourselves.
Take for example an aspiring mummy pleaser. He'll do is do everything he can to prove to his mother that he can be a success in life. He'll take two jobs, pretend to be intellectual but in the end all he's looking forward to is her golden approval. He might think he knows what he's doing but does he?
Or take the obsessive housewife who's always busy cleaning up and making sure everything's in order. Does she really like things clean or is she just looking for the approval of someone else?
The examples may vary but the idea is quite simple. We all do things for some reason or another, think we do it for reason A but do it for reason B. And we often don't realise until something smacks us in the face.
Along the path of our feeble objective more often than not we'll get some sort of sign that tells us to slow down and reexamine what we're up to. I, like most who will read this will attest to this. And like the rest of you, I too am guilty of overlooking the signs. Then when the cookie crumbles or the back breaks, we'd say "why didn't I notice" or "I should have known better than that."
When I felt the stain a few days ago, I ignored it and went on to complete what I was doing. I didn't expect it to get worse - or rather I didn't bother to stop and consider the consequences of my actions. I just move on - and paid the price.
I'm still paying the price. And if Doc B is right, I will continue the installments for a long time to come.
For me, two good things came out of this. Firstly I very quickly learnt that I should consider the repercussion of my actions not only before embarking on it, but also in mid stream.
Secondly, I learnt to be positive and happy regardless. Hope for the best and expect the worse. What's already happened has already happened. Don't fret, just learn. Learning is something I'm learning to do again.
It's easy to imagine that everything's dark and there's no end in sight. But even when the light isn't bright, it's not to say that the light isn't there.
It is. Open your eyes and you'll see.
Take for example an aspiring mummy pleaser. He'll do is do everything he can to prove to his mother that he can be a success in life. He'll take two jobs, pretend to be intellectual but in the end all he's looking forward to is her golden approval. He might think he knows what he's doing but does he?
Or take the obsessive housewife who's always busy cleaning up and making sure everything's in order. Does she really like things clean or is she just looking for the approval of someone else?
The examples may vary but the idea is quite simple. We all do things for some reason or another, think we do it for reason A but do it for reason B. And we often don't realise until something smacks us in the face.
Along the path of our feeble objective more often than not we'll get some sort of sign that tells us to slow down and reexamine what we're up to. I, like most who will read this will attest to this. And like the rest of you, I too am guilty of overlooking the signs. Then when the cookie crumbles or the back breaks, we'd say "why didn't I notice" or "I should have known better than that."
When I felt the stain a few days ago, I ignored it and went on to complete what I was doing. I didn't expect it to get worse - or rather I didn't bother to stop and consider the consequences of my actions. I just move on - and paid the price.
I'm still paying the price. And if Doc B is right, I will continue the installments for a long time to come.
For me, two good things came out of this. Firstly I very quickly learnt that I should consider the repercussion of my actions not only before embarking on it, but also in mid stream.
Secondly, I learnt to be positive and happy regardless. Hope for the best and expect the worse. What's already happened has already happened. Don't fret, just learn. Learning is something I'm learning to do again.
It's easy to imagine that everything's dark and there's no end in sight. But even when the light isn't bright, it's not to say that the light isn't there.
It is. Open your eyes and you'll see.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
3am
Matchbox 20s 3am is playing on my mind at this point in time. It's got lots to do with the fact that it's 3:40am and for some reason I can't sleep. The weather is rather warm tonight but not enough to cause problems. No explanation for the insomnia today.
I've got an early morning ahead of me and a long day that'll follow. The good news is that I'll be seeing her alot so the day will be miles better than it would without her presence. I don't know what it is about her, but she always knows how to extract happy me. And that too in more ways than one.
I've got an early morning ahead of me and a long day that'll follow. The good news is that I'll be seeing her alot so the day will be miles better than it would without her presence. I don't know what it is about her, but she always knows how to extract happy me. And that too in more ways than one.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Priorities
Over the course of one's life, one is likely to come to certain junctions and crossroads. At these life intersections, one is called to make a decision. Sometimes the decision made at these junctions don't matter at all as whichever way one would chose to go would lead back to the same, or at least similar place. However there are some other junctions, when taken takes you to the land of no return. Once the choice has been made, you're gonna have to live with it.
Then there are those U-turns. When you're on one road you decide that that's not the right way to go and you go back and start over.
I don't know where the junctions, intersections or U-eys are on my road of life. But I figured that when I come to them, I might as well be ready with some beacons to help me on my journey. To do this, I am going to prioritise.
I suppose this begs 2 questions. Firstly: Why prioritise and subsequently: why now? The answer to the first question is rather simplistic. In order to know what to do, you must first know where you want to go. I'm sure we've all been in the situation where we're at the store and we've got no idea what we wanted to get in the first place. Just then you think: "I should have made a list". This is my list.
Why now is a question that's more of a challenge. I suppose now because I think its about time I get what I want. I admit that I'm somewhat jealous of some people I know. They've come from humble beginnings and now are really on their way to the top. At the same time there are those who haven't really gone anywhere despite having numerous opportunities hurled their way. That said, I suppose the now is because I don't wanna wait any longer. In essence, the why now question is in itself a crossroads on its own.
Before I look at raking my priorities, I'd like to visit what areas in my life I consider important. Off the top of my head and in no particular order they are:
- Career
- The significant other
- God
- Family
- Friends
- Wealth
- Health
Looking at this short list I must say that I am already at odds where my priorities lie. It's difficult for me to say that my career is more important than God, or that health is more important than my lovely significant other.
I'm going to call the following my first draft. Using the method of comparing each item to the next and prioiritising & sorting each point against the next, I have come up with the following list:
1.Career
2.The significant other
3.Family
4.God
5.Health
6.Wealth
7.Friends
I can easily say that my current priorities aren't in the order above. Time for action. Time to get no 1 in place 1st.
Starting now.
Then there are those U-turns. When you're on one road you decide that that's not the right way to go and you go back and start over.
I don't know where the junctions, intersections or U-eys are on my road of life. But I figured that when I come to them, I might as well be ready with some beacons to help me on my journey. To do this, I am going to prioritise.
I suppose this begs 2 questions. Firstly: Why prioritise and subsequently: why now? The answer to the first question is rather simplistic. In order to know what to do, you must first know where you want to go. I'm sure we've all been in the situation where we're at the store and we've got no idea what we wanted to get in the first place. Just then you think: "I should have made a list". This is my list.
Why now is a question that's more of a challenge. I suppose now because I think its about time I get what I want. I admit that I'm somewhat jealous of some people I know. They've come from humble beginnings and now are really on their way to the top. At the same time there are those who haven't really gone anywhere despite having numerous opportunities hurled their way. That said, I suppose the now is because I don't wanna wait any longer. In essence, the why now question is in itself a crossroads on its own.
Before I look at raking my priorities, I'd like to visit what areas in my life I consider important. Off the top of my head and in no particular order they are:
- Career
- The significant other
- God
- Family
- Friends
- Wealth
- Health
Looking at this short list I must say that I am already at odds where my priorities lie. It's difficult for me to say that my career is more important than God, or that health is more important than my lovely significant other.
I'm going to call the following my first draft. Using the method of comparing each item to the next and prioiritising & sorting each point against the next, I have come up with the following list:
1.Career
2.The significant other
3.Family
4.God
5.Health
6.Wealth
7.Friends
I can easily say that my current priorities aren't in the order above. Time for action. Time to get no 1 in place 1st.
Starting now.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
When you say nothing at all
When Ronan sang the abovementioned song, he fused it well and made it romantic. The person says nothing, yet everything is said in that silence. Everything warm, beautiful, special and endearing. When I said nothing at all, it didn’t feel like any of those things. Not one.
As I joined the hour-long conversation, I realized that I really had nothing much to say. Nothing to contribute and nothing to add. I wanted to say something but there was no content. To add insult to injury, I wasn’t consulted. Nobody asked for my opinion – although I had my name slotted in every now and again.
Given that I am no expert in the subject, I was expecting to learn quick. There’s no doubt I’m learning but I think my pace is disappointing. I expected to be a pro by now but I think I’m only halfway there.
What really irked me though was the fact that the compatriot got consulted often. And as the conversation went on, I found that this wasn’t the first time that compatriot was consulted without me. I could draw it down to two possibilities; either compatriots close proximity to jack russle is of advantage to her or jack russle doesn’t trust me enough to get my opinion. Logically I should bother as compatriot is more experienced. But what bothers me is if this will affect my performance outcome.
And I can’t jeopardize that. Rephrase: I will not let that get jeopardized.
She said I must stand up and be counted. I can’t allow myself to be intimidated by them. What’s there to be afraid of anyway? I think deep down I new this but the words coming from someone else – especially her – makes a big difference. Much like finding something in the dark with the help of a torch. It was there all along but now it’s clear.
I’m now planning my assault.
As I joined the hour-long conversation, I realized that I really had nothing much to say. Nothing to contribute and nothing to add. I wanted to say something but there was no content. To add insult to injury, I wasn’t consulted. Nobody asked for my opinion – although I had my name slotted in every now and again.
Given that I am no expert in the subject, I was expecting to learn quick. There’s no doubt I’m learning but I think my pace is disappointing. I expected to be a pro by now but I think I’m only halfway there.
What really irked me though was the fact that the compatriot got consulted often. And as the conversation went on, I found that this wasn’t the first time that compatriot was consulted without me. I could draw it down to two possibilities; either compatriots close proximity to jack russle is of advantage to her or jack russle doesn’t trust me enough to get my opinion. Logically I should bother as compatriot is more experienced. But what bothers me is if this will affect my performance outcome.
And I can’t jeopardize that. Rephrase: I will not let that get jeopardized.
She said I must stand up and be counted. I can’t allow myself to be intimidated by them. What’s there to be afraid of anyway? I think deep down I new this but the words coming from someone else – especially her – makes a big difference. Much like finding something in the dark with the help of a torch. It was there all along but now it’s clear.
I’m now planning my assault.
Home rebound
This is overdue but MAFU liked my thoughts on the video and linked me on their site. Here's an excerpt of what they said:
"pete's lyrics are almost never 'in your face'. he tends to prefer lines that require a bit of thought to decipher, but once they are decoded, they stay in one's head for good. when we discussed the same issue that you wrote about in your blog entry just after the song was released, he said as much - and that he does not like (nor write) lyrics that don't require thought, or those that are so clear and direct as to prevent the possibility of listener interpretation. I believe his exact words were 'lack of reflective space' - whatever that means...
as for the singers sounding malaysian, we agree with you completely - we are malaysians, so why should we sound any different? Again, it is something pete feels very strongly about. his answer to folks who comment on how his diction sounds insufficiently 'proper' (invariably meaning 'american') is: "do i look american to you?'. :-)
anyway, thanks for writing one of the most thought-provoking blog entries we have read on this important issue.
you have been linked."
I feel good.
"pete's lyrics are almost never 'in your face'. he tends to prefer lines that require a bit of thought to decipher, but once they are decoded, they stay in one's head for good. when we discussed the same issue that you wrote about in your blog entry just after the song was released, he said as much - and that he does not like (nor write) lyrics that don't require thought, or those that are so clear and direct as to prevent the possibility of listener interpretation. I believe his exact words were 'lack of reflective space' - whatever that means...
as for the singers sounding malaysian, we agree with you completely - we are malaysians, so why should we sound any different? Again, it is something pete feels very strongly about. his answer to folks who comment on how his diction sounds insufficiently 'proper' (invariably meaning 'american') is: "do i look american to you?'. :-)
anyway, thanks for writing one of the most thought-provoking blog entries we have read on this important issue.
you have been linked."
I feel good.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Home
I must admit that I thought it was a horrible song when I heard it on Mahatma's blog. It sounded off pace, the words didn't make perfect sense and some words sounded as though it was pronounced by someone who couldn't speak proper English. When I spoke of the song, I lauded the initiative and what it stood for but musically, I tore it apart.
I was in my car today amiss the heat of this tropical climate and the very same song was on air. Maybe the hot air and the many encounters I had in the morning suddenly caught up with me, but I was really digging the song this time. The weird words, while still sounding somewhat odd now sounded just right. Just right because out of the blue, it now sounded just like it should, just like it is - originally local. And those meanings I just didn't get, now was somehow crystallized.
I listened to the lyrics more closely and loved it this time. It made alot of sense and just as before. I was behind the message 100%. Maybe 110% now.
Over the weekend I privately laughed at a buddy who proclaimed that this country is where she wanted to live in. She wouldn't trade it for any place else because she was so comfortable here. Although I do wanna try my trade elsewhere, listening to the song, I suddenly felt somewhat the same. This is the place I've known all my life. The people right next to me are the people I grew up with. Friends, family and strangers alike. For a moment, I was emotional - almost teary even. This IS home.
I wanted to do this song for the upcoming performance with the band of misfits but its abit late. Ironically they demonstrated their less-than-liked attitude again today and replaced another song. I suggested this one but I don’t think they want to do it. Lack of punch it seems. I disagree – but I’m not an island.
There’s a lot more to this place but I'll save that for another day. For now, enjoy the song. Here's to the message, the music and fundamentally, the people.
I was in my car today amiss the heat of this tropical climate and the very same song was on air. Maybe the hot air and the many encounters I had in the morning suddenly caught up with me, but I was really digging the song this time. The weird words, while still sounding somewhat odd now sounded just right. Just right because out of the blue, it now sounded just like it should, just like it is - originally local. And those meanings I just didn't get, now was somehow crystallized.
I listened to the lyrics more closely and loved it this time. It made alot of sense and just as before. I was behind the message 100%. Maybe 110% now.
Over the weekend I privately laughed at a buddy who proclaimed that this country is where she wanted to live in. She wouldn't trade it for any place else because she was so comfortable here. Although I do wanna try my trade elsewhere, listening to the song, I suddenly felt somewhat the same. This is the place I've known all my life. The people right next to me are the people I grew up with. Friends, family and strangers alike. For a moment, I was emotional - almost teary even. This IS home.
I wanted to do this song for the upcoming performance with the band of misfits but its abit late. Ironically they demonstrated their less-than-liked attitude again today and replaced another song. I suggested this one but I don’t think they want to do it. Lack of punch it seems. I disagree – but I’m not an island.
There’s a lot more to this place but I'll save that for another day. For now, enjoy the song. Here's to the message, the music and fundamentally, the people.
Not 5 but 2
We stopped at a gas station to grab a quick bite as I didn’t have anything to eat back at the shack. We got some buns and saw this great deal, 3 chocolates for the price of 2 and a ½ - that’s 2 and half bucks. Great! I got busy selecting which ones I wanted. I liked more than 3.
While busy selecting my morning cheap snack up came an old man to the counter. He handed the cashier 5 bucks and mumbled something to her – sounded like he said 6. But he handed her 5 bucks I thought to myself. He clarified himself. Pump 6, 2 bucks fuel.
I froze up for a moment. I wanted to do something but I didn’t know what. With hindsight I could offer him a full tank of gas but he could have gotten insulted. I could have asked the cashier to make sure he got a full tank (I’d pay) after he left. But I didn’t do anything. I could have made a difference but I didn’t. I watched. Just watched.
Now imagine this: take a measly 5 bucks to buy something and ask for change. What could you buy? Not much. Even my buns and chocs were going to cost more than 5 bucks.
The fact that someone needed 3 bucks back from a 5 shows how valuable that 3 bucks was to him. Maybe that was lunch. Maybe dinner. Possibly both. Maybe for two.
I wish this kind of thing didn’t happen but it does. I hope the next time I see it, I’ll be able to react.
Maybe I can make a difference.
Maybe you can too.
While busy selecting my morning cheap snack up came an old man to the counter. He handed the cashier 5 bucks and mumbled something to her – sounded like he said 6. But he handed her 5 bucks I thought to myself. He clarified himself. Pump 6, 2 bucks fuel.
I froze up for a moment. I wanted to do something but I didn’t know what. With hindsight I could offer him a full tank of gas but he could have gotten insulted. I could have asked the cashier to make sure he got a full tank (I’d pay) after he left. But I didn’t do anything. I could have made a difference but I didn’t. I watched. Just watched.
Now imagine this: take a measly 5 bucks to buy something and ask for change. What could you buy? Not much. Even my buns and chocs were going to cost more than 5 bucks.
The fact that someone needed 3 bucks back from a 5 shows how valuable that 3 bucks was to him. Maybe that was lunch. Maybe dinner. Possibly both. Maybe for two.
I wish this kind of thing didn’t happen but it does. I hope the next time I see it, I’ll be able to react.
Maybe I can make a difference.
Maybe you can too.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Procrastination Part II
As I listened to Dr. Funny Voice talk about the many failed attempts of smokers wanting to kick the habit, my mind struck back to a post I had recently composed. Somewhere in between his half baked jokes and reasoning of failed quiting attempts he said something to the following tune:
"Smokers often try to quit and fail mostly because in reality they don't really want to quit. They often look for excuses which they call reasons to get back to their cigarettes."
In my first attempt to understand procrastination here I wrote about some of the possible reasons why we procrastinate. This smoking analogy strikes a chord in me because perhaps the reason I (or we) procrastinate simply stems from the fact that we don't wanna do the task. No thank you, I could do that but I don't want to.
Interesting but often, you've just got to do it and so it's done late. Sometimes half baked like Dr. Funny Voice's jokes. I didn't like the jokes all that much.
The doc also told the story of a man who stopped smoking for 3 months because his girlfriend had asked him to. Get picked up the habit again at the end of the period. Why? Because girlfriend was now wife. Motivation lost.
Maybe that's what I need - the right motivation. After all, smoking usually leads to a painful death.
I don't want that.
"Smokers often try to quit and fail mostly because in reality they don't really want to quit. They often look for excuses which they call reasons to get back to their cigarettes."
In my first attempt to understand procrastination here I wrote about some of the possible reasons why we procrastinate. This smoking analogy strikes a chord in me because perhaps the reason I (or we) procrastinate simply stems from the fact that we don't wanna do the task. No thank you, I could do that but I don't want to.
Interesting but often, you've just got to do it and so it's done late. Sometimes half baked like Dr. Funny Voice's jokes. I didn't like the jokes all that much.
The doc also told the story of a man who stopped smoking for 3 months because his girlfriend had asked him to. Get picked up the habit again at the end of the period. Why? Because girlfriend was now wife. Motivation lost.
Maybe that's what I need - the right motivation. After all, smoking usually leads to a painful death.
I don't want that.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Some call it flip flops, I call it lies
And stupidity.
When he first said it, he told me that it'd take 3 months before anything could happen. He told me that out of the kindness of his heart he'd let it be for now. After all, all was not well and he had what he needed to keep the peace. His aides followed soon and told my friends & family the same thing - status quo to remain.
As I and my loved ones were temporarily breathing a sighs of relief, he turned his back on us and made the change. The change came as a surprise as just hours earlier he assured us that it wouldn't change. But now, with no remorse he changed it. To me, this was lie no 1. The first strike. There were strikes before, but let's stay focused on this one.
I can understand the need for the change and in fact, I support it. I knew it was due and with the wisdom I carry, I knew that it was the right things to do. After all, I've been pampered all this while under the false pretense. Some whom I know are pampered more than I was. With strike one, I believe it's time to change.
What I couldn't deal with was the fact that he lied. He lied to my face. He said it wouldn't happen, it wouldn't change - but it did. And the way in happened has insulted me. And the others.
Along with lie no 1 came the assurance that from time to time this change would be reviewed. It would be reviewed to ensure that the real situation was depicted clearly form time to time. Every month he said. I was afraid but again, I understood - it needed to happen.
At this time, he also pledged to help those who needed some assistance to get by. What he failed to mention was that the assistance wouldn't last - you'd get it today and that's the end of it. His blatant failure to tell me this from the get go constitutes lie no. 2.
Not long after, he introduced lie no 3. He now said that we're not going to review the decision from time to time. Instead we'll do it in a few months.
I suppose he wasn't happy with his hat trick of lies. He just had to do more. He had to. I suppose he's so used to it by now that it was ingrained in his head to do it. Now he said he'd wait for the dawn of a new cycle. Then he'd change it. Maybe. But he'll decide in a few months. Lie no 4.
Ever had a friend who told you that she'd stick with you no matter what? Then at the first sign of trouble and she was gone? She lied to you. He's just like that.
But he's still around, making you promises and maybe, just maybe he'll lie again.
He's good at it.
When he first said it, he told me that it'd take 3 months before anything could happen. He told me that out of the kindness of his heart he'd let it be for now. After all, all was not well and he had what he needed to keep the peace. His aides followed soon and told my friends & family the same thing - status quo to remain.
As I and my loved ones were temporarily breathing a sighs of relief, he turned his back on us and made the change. The change came as a surprise as just hours earlier he assured us that it wouldn't change. But now, with no remorse he changed it. To me, this was lie no 1. The first strike. There were strikes before, but let's stay focused on this one.
I can understand the need for the change and in fact, I support it. I knew it was due and with the wisdom I carry, I knew that it was the right things to do. After all, I've been pampered all this while under the false pretense. Some whom I know are pampered more than I was. With strike one, I believe it's time to change.
What I couldn't deal with was the fact that he lied. He lied to my face. He said it wouldn't happen, it wouldn't change - but it did. And the way in happened has insulted me. And the others.
Along with lie no 1 came the assurance that from time to time this change would be reviewed. It would be reviewed to ensure that the real situation was depicted clearly form time to time. Every month he said. I was afraid but again, I understood - it needed to happen.
At this time, he also pledged to help those who needed some assistance to get by. What he failed to mention was that the assistance wouldn't last - you'd get it today and that's the end of it. His blatant failure to tell me this from the get go constitutes lie no. 2.
Not long after, he introduced lie no 3. He now said that we're not going to review the decision from time to time. Instead we'll do it in a few months.
I suppose he wasn't happy with his hat trick of lies. He just had to do more. He had to. I suppose he's so used to it by now that it was ingrained in his head to do it. Now he said he'd wait for the dawn of a new cycle. Then he'd change it. Maybe. But he'll decide in a few months. Lie no 4.
Ever had a friend who told you that she'd stick with you no matter what? Then at the first sign of trouble and she was gone? She lied to you. He's just like that.
But he's still around, making you promises and maybe, just maybe he'll lie again.
He's good at it.
Of risks and dangers
I always knew that I was at risk but I thought I'd be able to reduce that risk by doing the right things. Time does somehow take its toll on you and over time the definition of what was right and what was not somehow got massaged. Today I am faced with a rather interesting predicament.
I've known for awhile now that I needed to raise my game in this area. I knew the risks were creeping up on me and there have been signs - some rather blaring - that I should act. Today as I listened to the words of one who is wiser, I realised that I am at greater risk that I had imagined. He spoke of 9 risks: 3 that you're pretty much stuck with and can't do a thing in the sane world to change and 6 others which you can influence. My non-scientific method of considering all risks equal tell me that I have a risk ratio of 5:9. 5:9! That's over half a chance. A toss of a coin really.
I think it's all about balance. What goes up must come down, no? So what goes in should ultimately go out. And in the right ratios too. Too bad for me, it hasn't been quite right for a little while now.
Time to change. My choices must change.
But knowing that even if I do, it might hit me. And it might all end.
I've known for awhile now that I needed to raise my game in this area. I knew the risks were creeping up on me and there have been signs - some rather blaring - that I should act. Today as I listened to the words of one who is wiser, I realised that I am at greater risk that I had imagined. He spoke of 9 risks: 3 that you're pretty much stuck with and can't do a thing in the sane world to change and 6 others which you can influence. My non-scientific method of considering all risks equal tell me that I have a risk ratio of 5:9. 5:9! That's over half a chance. A toss of a coin really.
I think it's all about balance. What goes up must come down, no? So what goes in should ultimately go out. And in the right ratios too. Too bad for me, it hasn't been quite right for a little while now.
Time to change. My choices must change.
But knowing that even if I do, it might hit me. And it might all end.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Procrastinate
Why procrastinate?
I have been pondering upon this question for a long time now and over time I've come up with many different explanations and/or excuses to justify why one (or I) procrastinate.
One of the primary reasons I used to attribute to procrastination was environment. It was easy to blame the circumstances to which you are in to the lack of productivity. For instance if the environment was too noisy it was easy to deduce that it was difficult to concentrate. Or if one was not feeling well, every excuse in the book could be used to "get some rest" aka slack off. Or if the chair didn't give sufficient back support, back strain would prevent me from getting things done.
So when I found myself cruising the environment, I'd eventually takes steps to change the environment. I got a new chair, found more peaceful surroundings and the like. The initial positivity was great and some productivity followed suit. However as time grew, there were more problems with the environment. I missed the noise, the chair was still uncomfortable, and the list grew.
Now it doesn't take a PHD to figure out that what was attributed as justification for procrastinations were actually just excuses. This was a big realisation. Time came to now learn not to make excuses and find ways to get on with it. And I did.
However procrastination is just like that relative you have that refuses to leave you be. Or that kid in school who stalked you. Or that thing you did that time you wished nobody to know of. You could run and hide and for a while everything's OK - but somehow they find a way to creep up on you again.
So here I find myself somewhat procrastinating again. Don't misunderstand, I get what I need to get done but why can't I do it first time I get it? I have the time and most of the resources so no excuse there. Perhaps I don't feel that the task is challenging enough to warrant my immediate attention. Or maybe the fear that the problem too complex. Or perhaps I'm just not interested.
Some would categorise this as just being plain lazy but I disagree. Laziness is the action (or lack thereof). There's surely something deeper here. I don't get it yet, but I intend to find out.
I have been pondering upon this question for a long time now and over time I've come up with many different explanations and/or excuses to justify why one (or I) procrastinate.
One of the primary reasons I used to attribute to procrastination was environment. It was easy to blame the circumstances to which you are in to the lack of productivity. For instance if the environment was too noisy it was easy to deduce that it was difficult to concentrate. Or if one was not feeling well, every excuse in the book could be used to "get some rest" aka slack off. Or if the chair didn't give sufficient back support, back strain would prevent me from getting things done.
So when I found myself cruising the environment, I'd eventually takes steps to change the environment. I got a new chair, found more peaceful surroundings and the like. The initial positivity was great and some productivity followed suit. However as time grew, there were more problems with the environment. I missed the noise, the chair was still uncomfortable, and the list grew.
Now it doesn't take a PHD to figure out that what was attributed as justification for procrastinations were actually just excuses. This was a big realisation. Time came to now learn not to make excuses and find ways to get on with it. And I did.
However procrastination is just like that relative you have that refuses to leave you be. Or that kid in school who stalked you. Or that thing you did that time you wished nobody to know of. You could run and hide and for a while everything's OK - but somehow they find a way to creep up on you again.
So here I find myself somewhat procrastinating again. Don't misunderstand, I get what I need to get done but why can't I do it first time I get it? I have the time and most of the resources so no excuse there. Perhaps I don't feel that the task is challenging enough to warrant my immediate attention. Or maybe the fear that the problem too complex. Or perhaps I'm just not interested.
Some would categorise this as just being plain lazy but I disagree. Laziness is the action (or lack thereof). There's surely something deeper here. I don't get it yet, but I intend to find out.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Energy Conservation
It was an interesting evening yesterday as news of the increase in energy prices for fuel and electricity broke. Not surprisingly, all fuel retail stations were flooded with cars and the like. I chose not to. Why? Well perhaps because I drive a compact and the ratio of impact to me might not be as great as the bloke trying to look cool in his SUV. Also maybe I didn't feel like queuing. I hate queueing. That's part of the reason I don't like going to certain "hip and happening" clubs. I don't queue.
Anyhow this energy price increase is sure to kick start a domino effect of rising goods and services prices. Instead of lamenting on end (which would really achieve nothing good), I'm choosing to embark on what I'd like to call a "Personal Energy Conservation Plan".
It's simple. All you need to do is write down half a dozen actions that you're going to take to conserve energy - be in fuel or electricity. Face it, this is the only thing you can actually DO that'll make a difference. This is your circle of influence. Here's my list. It's work in progress but better start with something.
1. Plan my journeys
If I've' got 5 things to do, plan it out and do it in one journey instead of 5. Also, plan the time to get out and about and the best route to take.
2. If the show sucks, turn it off
I will not watch E! for the 8th time in a day just to have the TV on.
3. Car pool
Now I'll have someone to chat with on the way to work. No more flipping stations finding the right junk to listen to.
4. Resit the urge to floor it
Now I know there's a speed demon in me. I know I'm a good driver and I can whip it out on the track. But the road is not the track so I'll drive by the rule, consuming less fuel and reducing the risk of a speeding ticket.
Ok, so I've got 4 things down already. When I have more, I'll put them up. If you've got an idea for me, this is a time to shout out.
I'm out.
Anyhow this energy price increase is sure to kick start a domino effect of rising goods and services prices. Instead of lamenting on end (which would really achieve nothing good), I'm choosing to embark on what I'd like to call a "Personal Energy Conservation Plan".
It's simple. All you need to do is write down half a dozen actions that you're going to take to conserve energy - be in fuel or electricity. Face it, this is the only thing you can actually DO that'll make a difference. This is your circle of influence. Here's my list. It's work in progress but better start with something.
1. Plan my journeys
If I've' got 5 things to do, plan it out and do it in one journey instead of 5. Also, plan the time to get out and about and the best route to take.
2. If the show sucks, turn it off
I will not watch E! for the 8th time in a day just to have the TV on.
3. Car pool
Now I'll have someone to chat with on the way to work. No more flipping stations finding the right junk to listen to.
4. Resit the urge to floor it
Now I know there's a speed demon in me. I know I'm a good driver and I can whip it out on the track. But the road is not the track so I'll drive by the rule, consuming less fuel and reducing the risk of a speeding ticket.
Ok, so I've got 4 things down already. When I have more, I'll put them up. If you've got an idea for me, this is a time to shout out.
I'm out.
Post numero uno
I decided to start blogging for 2 reasons:
1. I come up with alot of sutff - some great, others not so - but I've had nowhere to keep it all logged. So here I am.
2. I want an outlet. Ever felt some way but had no idea why? I do so I wanna have this page in place to scribble down my thoughts and hopefully when I'm done I'll be able to make better sense of it all.
The blog's gonna be called Illogical Extracts. The name stems from the fact that while I try to be logical, I may not be.
My first thought is this: If you want something done right the first time, do it yourself. If you want it done right thereafter, give good instructions.
Enough for now. Stay tuned.
1. I come up with alot of sutff - some great, others not so - but I've had nowhere to keep it all logged. So here I am.
2. I want an outlet. Ever felt some way but had no idea why? I do so I wanna have this page in place to scribble down my thoughts and hopefully when I'm done I'll be able to make better sense of it all.
The blog's gonna be called Illogical Extracts. The name stems from the fact that while I try to be logical, I may not be.
My first thought is this: If you want something done right the first time, do it yourself. If you want it done right thereafter, give good instructions.
Enough for now. Stay tuned.
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