Over the course of one's life, one is likely to come to certain junctions and crossroads. At these life intersections, one is called to make a decision. Sometimes the decision made at these junctions don't matter at all as whichever way one would chose to go would lead back to the same, or at least similar place. However there are some other junctions, when taken takes you to the land of no return. Once the choice has been made, you're gonna have to live with it.
Then there are those U-turns. When you're on one road you decide that that's not the right way to go and you go back and start over.
I don't know where the junctions, intersections or U-eys are on my road of life. But I figured that when I come to them, I might as well be ready with some beacons to help me on my journey. To do this, I am going to prioritise.
I suppose this begs 2 questions. Firstly: Why prioritise and subsequently: why now? The answer to the first question is rather simplistic. In order to know what to do, you must first know where you want to go. I'm sure we've all been in the situation where we're at the store and we've got no idea what we wanted to get in the first place. Just then you think: "I should have made a list". This is my list.
Why now is a question that's more of a challenge. I suppose now because I think its about time I get what I want. I admit that I'm somewhat jealous of some people I know. They've come from humble beginnings and now are really on their way to the top. At the same time there are those who haven't really gone anywhere despite having numerous opportunities hurled their way. That said, I suppose the now is because I don't wanna wait any longer. In essence, the why now question is in itself a crossroads on its own.
Before I look at raking my priorities, I'd like to visit what areas in my life I consider important. Off the top of my head and in no particular order they are:
- Career
- The significant other
- God
- Family
- Friends
- Wealth
- Health
Looking at this short list I must say that I am already at odds where my priorities lie. It's difficult for me to say that my career is more important than God, or that health is more important than my lovely significant other.
I'm going to call the following my first draft. Using the method of comparing each item to the next and prioiritising & sorting each point against the next, I have come up with the following list:
1.Career
2.The significant other
3.Family
4.God
5.Health
6.Wealth
7.Friends
I can easily say that my current priorities aren't in the order above. Time for action. Time to get no 1 in place 1st.
Starting now.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
When you say nothing at all
When Ronan sang the abovementioned song, he fused it well and made it romantic. The person says nothing, yet everything is said in that silence. Everything warm, beautiful, special and endearing. When I said nothing at all, it didn’t feel like any of those things. Not one.
As I joined the hour-long conversation, I realized that I really had nothing much to say. Nothing to contribute and nothing to add. I wanted to say something but there was no content. To add insult to injury, I wasn’t consulted. Nobody asked for my opinion – although I had my name slotted in every now and again.
Given that I am no expert in the subject, I was expecting to learn quick. There’s no doubt I’m learning but I think my pace is disappointing. I expected to be a pro by now but I think I’m only halfway there.
What really irked me though was the fact that the compatriot got consulted often. And as the conversation went on, I found that this wasn’t the first time that compatriot was consulted without me. I could draw it down to two possibilities; either compatriots close proximity to jack russle is of advantage to her or jack russle doesn’t trust me enough to get my opinion. Logically I should bother as compatriot is more experienced. But what bothers me is if this will affect my performance outcome.
And I can’t jeopardize that. Rephrase: I will not let that get jeopardized.
She said I must stand up and be counted. I can’t allow myself to be intimidated by them. What’s there to be afraid of anyway? I think deep down I new this but the words coming from someone else – especially her – makes a big difference. Much like finding something in the dark with the help of a torch. It was there all along but now it’s clear.
I’m now planning my assault.
As I joined the hour-long conversation, I realized that I really had nothing much to say. Nothing to contribute and nothing to add. I wanted to say something but there was no content. To add insult to injury, I wasn’t consulted. Nobody asked for my opinion – although I had my name slotted in every now and again.
Given that I am no expert in the subject, I was expecting to learn quick. There’s no doubt I’m learning but I think my pace is disappointing. I expected to be a pro by now but I think I’m only halfway there.
What really irked me though was the fact that the compatriot got consulted often. And as the conversation went on, I found that this wasn’t the first time that compatriot was consulted without me. I could draw it down to two possibilities; either compatriots close proximity to jack russle is of advantage to her or jack russle doesn’t trust me enough to get my opinion. Logically I should bother as compatriot is more experienced. But what bothers me is if this will affect my performance outcome.
And I can’t jeopardize that. Rephrase: I will not let that get jeopardized.
She said I must stand up and be counted. I can’t allow myself to be intimidated by them. What’s there to be afraid of anyway? I think deep down I new this but the words coming from someone else – especially her – makes a big difference. Much like finding something in the dark with the help of a torch. It was there all along but now it’s clear.
I’m now planning my assault.
Home rebound
This is overdue but MAFU liked my thoughts on the video and linked me on their site. Here's an excerpt of what they said:
"pete's lyrics are almost never 'in your face'. he tends to prefer lines that require a bit of thought to decipher, but once they are decoded, they stay in one's head for good. when we discussed the same issue that you wrote about in your blog entry just after the song was released, he said as much - and that he does not like (nor write) lyrics that don't require thought, or those that are so clear and direct as to prevent the possibility of listener interpretation. I believe his exact words were 'lack of reflective space' - whatever that means...
as for the singers sounding malaysian, we agree with you completely - we are malaysians, so why should we sound any different? Again, it is something pete feels very strongly about. his answer to folks who comment on how his diction sounds insufficiently 'proper' (invariably meaning 'american') is: "do i look american to you?'. :-)
anyway, thanks for writing one of the most thought-provoking blog entries we have read on this important issue.
you have been linked."
I feel good.
"pete's lyrics are almost never 'in your face'. he tends to prefer lines that require a bit of thought to decipher, but once they are decoded, they stay in one's head for good. when we discussed the same issue that you wrote about in your blog entry just after the song was released, he said as much - and that he does not like (nor write) lyrics that don't require thought, or those that are so clear and direct as to prevent the possibility of listener interpretation. I believe his exact words were 'lack of reflective space' - whatever that means...
as for the singers sounding malaysian, we agree with you completely - we are malaysians, so why should we sound any different? Again, it is something pete feels very strongly about. his answer to folks who comment on how his diction sounds insufficiently 'proper' (invariably meaning 'american') is: "do i look american to you?'. :-)
anyway, thanks for writing one of the most thought-provoking blog entries we have read on this important issue.
you have been linked."
I feel good.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Home
I must admit that I thought it was a horrible song when I heard it on Mahatma's blog. It sounded off pace, the words didn't make perfect sense and some words sounded as though it was pronounced by someone who couldn't speak proper English. When I spoke of the song, I lauded the initiative and what it stood for but musically, I tore it apart.
I was in my car today amiss the heat of this tropical climate and the very same song was on air. Maybe the hot air and the many encounters I had in the morning suddenly caught up with me, but I was really digging the song this time. The weird words, while still sounding somewhat odd now sounded just right. Just right because out of the blue, it now sounded just like it should, just like it is - originally local. And those meanings I just didn't get, now was somehow crystallized.
I listened to the lyrics more closely and loved it this time. It made alot of sense and just as before. I was behind the message 100%. Maybe 110% now.
Over the weekend I privately laughed at a buddy who proclaimed that this country is where she wanted to live in. She wouldn't trade it for any place else because she was so comfortable here. Although I do wanna try my trade elsewhere, listening to the song, I suddenly felt somewhat the same. This is the place I've known all my life. The people right next to me are the people I grew up with. Friends, family and strangers alike. For a moment, I was emotional - almost teary even. This IS home.
I wanted to do this song for the upcoming performance with the band of misfits but its abit late. Ironically they demonstrated their less-than-liked attitude again today and replaced another song. I suggested this one but I don’t think they want to do it. Lack of punch it seems. I disagree – but I’m not an island.
There’s a lot more to this place but I'll save that for another day. For now, enjoy the song. Here's to the message, the music and fundamentally, the people.
I was in my car today amiss the heat of this tropical climate and the very same song was on air. Maybe the hot air and the many encounters I had in the morning suddenly caught up with me, but I was really digging the song this time. The weird words, while still sounding somewhat odd now sounded just right. Just right because out of the blue, it now sounded just like it should, just like it is - originally local. And those meanings I just didn't get, now was somehow crystallized.
I listened to the lyrics more closely and loved it this time. It made alot of sense and just as before. I was behind the message 100%. Maybe 110% now.
Over the weekend I privately laughed at a buddy who proclaimed that this country is where she wanted to live in. She wouldn't trade it for any place else because she was so comfortable here. Although I do wanna try my trade elsewhere, listening to the song, I suddenly felt somewhat the same. This is the place I've known all my life. The people right next to me are the people I grew up with. Friends, family and strangers alike. For a moment, I was emotional - almost teary even. This IS home.
I wanted to do this song for the upcoming performance with the band of misfits but its abit late. Ironically they demonstrated their less-than-liked attitude again today and replaced another song. I suggested this one but I don’t think they want to do it. Lack of punch it seems. I disagree – but I’m not an island.
There’s a lot more to this place but I'll save that for another day. For now, enjoy the song. Here's to the message, the music and fundamentally, the people.
Not 5 but 2
We stopped at a gas station to grab a quick bite as I didn’t have anything to eat back at the shack. We got some buns and saw this great deal, 3 chocolates for the price of 2 and a ½ - that’s 2 and half bucks. Great! I got busy selecting which ones I wanted. I liked more than 3.
While busy selecting my morning cheap snack up came an old man to the counter. He handed the cashier 5 bucks and mumbled something to her – sounded like he said 6. But he handed her 5 bucks I thought to myself. He clarified himself. Pump 6, 2 bucks fuel.
I froze up for a moment. I wanted to do something but I didn’t know what. With hindsight I could offer him a full tank of gas but he could have gotten insulted. I could have asked the cashier to make sure he got a full tank (I’d pay) after he left. But I didn’t do anything. I could have made a difference but I didn’t. I watched. Just watched.
Now imagine this: take a measly 5 bucks to buy something and ask for change. What could you buy? Not much. Even my buns and chocs were going to cost more than 5 bucks.
The fact that someone needed 3 bucks back from a 5 shows how valuable that 3 bucks was to him. Maybe that was lunch. Maybe dinner. Possibly both. Maybe for two.
I wish this kind of thing didn’t happen but it does. I hope the next time I see it, I’ll be able to react.
Maybe I can make a difference.
Maybe you can too.
While busy selecting my morning cheap snack up came an old man to the counter. He handed the cashier 5 bucks and mumbled something to her – sounded like he said 6. But he handed her 5 bucks I thought to myself. He clarified himself. Pump 6, 2 bucks fuel.
I froze up for a moment. I wanted to do something but I didn’t know what. With hindsight I could offer him a full tank of gas but he could have gotten insulted. I could have asked the cashier to make sure he got a full tank (I’d pay) after he left. But I didn’t do anything. I could have made a difference but I didn’t. I watched. Just watched.
Now imagine this: take a measly 5 bucks to buy something and ask for change. What could you buy? Not much. Even my buns and chocs were going to cost more than 5 bucks.
The fact that someone needed 3 bucks back from a 5 shows how valuable that 3 bucks was to him. Maybe that was lunch. Maybe dinner. Possibly both. Maybe for two.
I wish this kind of thing didn’t happen but it does. I hope the next time I see it, I’ll be able to react.
Maybe I can make a difference.
Maybe you can too.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Procrastination Part II
As I listened to Dr. Funny Voice talk about the many failed attempts of smokers wanting to kick the habit, my mind struck back to a post I had recently composed. Somewhere in between his half baked jokes and reasoning of failed quiting attempts he said something to the following tune:
"Smokers often try to quit and fail mostly because in reality they don't really want to quit. They often look for excuses which they call reasons to get back to their cigarettes."
In my first attempt to understand procrastination here I wrote about some of the possible reasons why we procrastinate. This smoking analogy strikes a chord in me because perhaps the reason I (or we) procrastinate simply stems from the fact that we don't wanna do the task. No thank you, I could do that but I don't want to.
Interesting but often, you've just got to do it and so it's done late. Sometimes half baked like Dr. Funny Voice's jokes. I didn't like the jokes all that much.
The doc also told the story of a man who stopped smoking for 3 months because his girlfriend had asked him to. Get picked up the habit again at the end of the period. Why? Because girlfriend was now wife. Motivation lost.
Maybe that's what I need - the right motivation. After all, smoking usually leads to a painful death.
I don't want that.
"Smokers often try to quit and fail mostly because in reality they don't really want to quit. They often look for excuses which they call reasons to get back to their cigarettes."
In my first attempt to understand procrastination here I wrote about some of the possible reasons why we procrastinate. This smoking analogy strikes a chord in me because perhaps the reason I (or we) procrastinate simply stems from the fact that we don't wanna do the task. No thank you, I could do that but I don't want to.
Interesting but often, you've just got to do it and so it's done late. Sometimes half baked like Dr. Funny Voice's jokes. I didn't like the jokes all that much.
The doc also told the story of a man who stopped smoking for 3 months because his girlfriend had asked him to. Get picked up the habit again at the end of the period. Why? Because girlfriend was now wife. Motivation lost.
Maybe that's what I need - the right motivation. After all, smoking usually leads to a painful death.
I don't want that.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Some call it flip flops, I call it lies
And stupidity.
When he first said it, he told me that it'd take 3 months before anything could happen. He told me that out of the kindness of his heart he'd let it be for now. After all, all was not well and he had what he needed to keep the peace. His aides followed soon and told my friends & family the same thing - status quo to remain.
As I and my loved ones were temporarily breathing a sighs of relief, he turned his back on us and made the change. The change came as a surprise as just hours earlier he assured us that it wouldn't change. But now, with no remorse he changed it. To me, this was lie no 1. The first strike. There were strikes before, but let's stay focused on this one.
I can understand the need for the change and in fact, I support it. I knew it was due and with the wisdom I carry, I knew that it was the right things to do. After all, I've been pampered all this while under the false pretense. Some whom I know are pampered more than I was. With strike one, I believe it's time to change.
What I couldn't deal with was the fact that he lied. He lied to my face. He said it wouldn't happen, it wouldn't change - but it did. And the way in happened has insulted me. And the others.
Along with lie no 1 came the assurance that from time to time this change would be reviewed. It would be reviewed to ensure that the real situation was depicted clearly form time to time. Every month he said. I was afraid but again, I understood - it needed to happen.
At this time, he also pledged to help those who needed some assistance to get by. What he failed to mention was that the assistance wouldn't last - you'd get it today and that's the end of it. His blatant failure to tell me this from the get go constitutes lie no. 2.
Not long after, he introduced lie no 3. He now said that we're not going to review the decision from time to time. Instead we'll do it in a few months.
I suppose he wasn't happy with his hat trick of lies. He just had to do more. He had to. I suppose he's so used to it by now that it was ingrained in his head to do it. Now he said he'd wait for the dawn of a new cycle. Then he'd change it. Maybe. But he'll decide in a few months. Lie no 4.
Ever had a friend who told you that she'd stick with you no matter what? Then at the first sign of trouble and she was gone? She lied to you. He's just like that.
But he's still around, making you promises and maybe, just maybe he'll lie again.
He's good at it.
When he first said it, he told me that it'd take 3 months before anything could happen. He told me that out of the kindness of his heart he'd let it be for now. After all, all was not well and he had what he needed to keep the peace. His aides followed soon and told my friends & family the same thing - status quo to remain.
As I and my loved ones were temporarily breathing a sighs of relief, he turned his back on us and made the change. The change came as a surprise as just hours earlier he assured us that it wouldn't change. But now, with no remorse he changed it. To me, this was lie no 1. The first strike. There were strikes before, but let's stay focused on this one.
I can understand the need for the change and in fact, I support it. I knew it was due and with the wisdom I carry, I knew that it was the right things to do. After all, I've been pampered all this while under the false pretense. Some whom I know are pampered more than I was. With strike one, I believe it's time to change.
What I couldn't deal with was the fact that he lied. He lied to my face. He said it wouldn't happen, it wouldn't change - but it did. And the way in happened has insulted me. And the others.
Along with lie no 1 came the assurance that from time to time this change would be reviewed. It would be reviewed to ensure that the real situation was depicted clearly form time to time. Every month he said. I was afraid but again, I understood - it needed to happen.
At this time, he also pledged to help those who needed some assistance to get by. What he failed to mention was that the assistance wouldn't last - you'd get it today and that's the end of it. His blatant failure to tell me this from the get go constitutes lie no. 2.
Not long after, he introduced lie no 3. He now said that we're not going to review the decision from time to time. Instead we'll do it in a few months.
I suppose he wasn't happy with his hat trick of lies. He just had to do more. He had to. I suppose he's so used to it by now that it was ingrained in his head to do it. Now he said he'd wait for the dawn of a new cycle. Then he'd change it. Maybe. But he'll decide in a few months. Lie no 4.
Ever had a friend who told you that she'd stick with you no matter what? Then at the first sign of trouble and she was gone? She lied to you. He's just like that.
But he's still around, making you promises and maybe, just maybe he'll lie again.
He's good at it.
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